TASK 26 //
ALTERATIONS MADE ALONG THE WAY
Storyline
Throughout the planning process of this final project, I had decided to change the way in which my storyline progresses. Originally, I had opted to have a flashback showing the struggles which Sophie faced whilst in school as she is walking past the building. However, when I had gotten advice from my target audience and teachers on this section of the plot, they thought it would be very hard to recreate a scene where Sophie is being physically abused and would end up looking fake. From this, I wanted to change the way in which the story was shown as I aimed to show professionalism throughout the product. Instead, the theme of bullying and abuse is now shown through a voiceover, where the sound intensifies until eventually the screen will turn black and the increasing volume in the sound will come to a halt. Therefore, I have moved away from a heavy-handed approach, which is typically done in a short film.
Below I have provided the adjusted shot list, which shows the shot process of how and when this voiceover will be introduced into the short film.
Voiceover
Throughout my planning process, I was deciding whether to implement a voiceover into my short film. As I began planning, I was adamant on having the voiceover to be throughout the entire short film, as it would add interest and engage the audience throughout, whilst there is no dialogue. I planned for this voiceover to begin when Sophie is seen putting her headphones in her ears, as the music would have began to play at the same time. This voiceover would then have stopped once she reached the hall, after seen walking along pathways. However, I then realised that this is unconventional and not usually seen within the genre of coming of age and short films. Therefore, I decided to reduce the amount of time spent where a voiceover is heard of Sophie talking about her life. Now, I have planned to implement a voiceover during the time where Sophie has had a panic attack outside school to when she enters the hall, where she is seen playing the violin.
The updated version of my script for the voiceover can be seen below.
*BLACK SCREEN*
*PRODUCTION COMPANY LOGO FADES ON AND OFF SCREEN*
*FILM TITLE FADES ONTO SCREEN AND IS CUT FROM*
*SOPHIE IS SEEN BRUSHING HER HAIR IN THE MIRROR*
*SHE WALKS TOWARDS HER BAG ON THE FLOOR, PICKS IT UP, PLACES IT ON THE BED AND REPLACES SCHOOL BOOKS FOR HER MAKE UP, OYSTER CARD AND A DRINK*
*SHE PLACES HEADPHONES IN HER EARS AND WALKS OUT THE HOUSE, WHERE THE NON-DIEGETIC OF HER MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY*
*SOPHIE WALKS THROUGH AN ALLEYWAY AND SUBWAY, WHERE SHE FINALLY GETS TO THE OUTSIDE OF HER SCHOOL*
*SOPHIE WALKS TOWARDS ENTRANCE OF SCHOOL, THEN BEGINS REMEMBERING THE BULLIES AT HER SCHOOL AND EVENTUALLY HAS A PANIC ATTACK*
*FADES INTO BLACK SCREEN*
Sophie (voiceover): I’ve never really felt like I could truly express myself, surrounded by people who only ever seem to care about the appearance of others. They think I’m the girl sat at the back of the classroom with no friends. They don’t allow themselves to understand me, who I am. The procedure of entering those school gates, day after day, has drained all the motivation I had within me. I feel as if no one has ever tried to get to know who I truly am or even start a conversation with me. Trapped, isolated, lost – all of the things I’ve only ever known to feel when I go to school. The loneliness has taken over me, my life, my everything. They only ever seem to see the black eye shadow, the nose piercing or the necklaces I wear. This materialistic world has destroyed what is truly important in a person. I’m constantly judged for the choices I make with my own life, with things as little as the clothing I decide to wear to school. The false perceptions relentlessly thrown at me, they think I’m just the emo of the school who listens to rock music. What they don’t seem to realise is – all that ever matters about a person is skin deep.
*SOPHIE CONTINUES WALKING UNTIL A HALL IS VISIBLE IN THE SHOT, WHERE SHE EVENTUALLY WALKS IN AND A POSTER FOR A VIOLIN RECITAL BECOMES VISIBLE*
*SOPHIE ENTERS THE HALL AND WALKS TOWARDS THE OTHERS IN THE HALL, WHERE SHE IS GREETED*
Nicole: Hey Sophie! How are you?
Sophie: Hey! I’m good, a little nervous though. I don’t think he’s too happy with me.
Nicole: Don’t worry! It’ll be fine, just pay attention.
*FADES INTO BLACK SCREEN*
*SHOTS ARE SHOWN OF NICOLE, SOPHIE AND VARIOUS OTHERS PLAYING INSTRUMENTS IN THEIR REHEARSAL, UNTIL THE SCREEN EVENTUALLY CUTS TO A BLACK SCREEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN EXTREME CLOSE UP IS USED SHOWING SOPHIE’S HANDS*