TASK 12 //
SCRIPT ADAPTATIONS
*BLACK SCREEN*
*PRODUCTION COMPANY LOGO FADES ON AND OFF SCREEN*
*FILM TITLE FADES ONTO SCREEN AND IS CUT FROM*
*SOPHIE IS SEEN BRUSHING HER HAIR IN THE MIRROR*
*SHE WALKS TOWARDS HER BAG ON THE FLOOR, PICKS IT UP, PLACES IT ON THE BED AND REPLACES SCHOOL BOOKS FOR HER MAKE UP, OYSTER CARD AND A DRINK*
*SHE PLACES HEADPHONES IN HER EARS AND WALKS OUT THE HOUSE, WHERE THE NON-DIEGETIC OF HER MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY, AS WELL AS A VOICEOVER*
Sophie (voiceover): I’ve never really felt like I could truly express myself, surrounded by people who only ever seem to care about the appearance of others. They think I’m the girl sat at the back of the classroom with no friends. They don’t allow themselves to understand me, who I am. The procedure of entering those school gates, day after day, has drained all the motivation I had within me. I feel as if no one has ever tried to get to know who I truly am or even start a conversation with me. Trapped, isolated, lost – all the things I’ve only ever known to feel when I go to school. The loneliness has taken over me, my life, my everything. They only ever seem to see the black eye shadow, the nose piercing or the necklaces I wear. This materialistic world has destroyed what is truly important in a person. Constantly judged for the clothes I choose to wear; I’ve never felt comfortable enough to retaliate to the bullies. The false perceptions relentlessly thrown at me, they think I’m just the emo of the school who listens to rock music and self-harms herself.
*SOPHIE WALKS THROUGH AN ALLEYWAY AND SUBWAY, WHERE SHE FINALLY GETS TO THE OUTSIDE OF HER SCHOOL*
*SOPHIE WALKS TOWARDS ENTRANCE OF SCHOOL, THEN BEGINS REMEMBERING THE BULLIES AT HER SCHOOL AND EVENTUALLY HAS A PANIC ATTACK*
*FADES INTO BLACK SCREEN*
*SOPHIE CONTINUES WALKING UNTIL A HALL IS VISIBLE IN THE SHOT, WHERE SHE EVENTUALLY WALKS IN AND A POSTER FOR A VIOLIN RECITAL BECOMES VISIBLE*
*SOPHIE ENTERS THE HALL AND WALKS TOWARDS THE OTHERS IN THE HALL, WHERE SHE IS GREETED*
Nicole: Hi Sophie! How are you?
Sophie: Hey! I’m good, a little nervous though.
Nicole: Me too! I was up all night practicing but I still need to go through my set again. Do you want to go over our roles with everyone else?
Sophie: Sure! Let me go get my violin from the back, I left it here yesterday.
*FADES INTO BLACK SCREEN*
*SHOTS ARE SHOWN OF NICOLE, SOPHIE AND VARIOUS OTHERS PLAYING INSTRUMENTS IN THEIR REHEARSAL, UNTIL THE SCREEN EVENTUALLY CUTS TO A BLACK SCREEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN EXTREME CLOSE UP IS USED SHOWING SOPHIE’S HANDS*
The script which I have presented above is my initial scripting of my short film. This version of the script was amended for various reasons, such as the structure of the voiceover. I believed the voiceover was too lengthy and some parts were unnecessary to implement as part of the dialogue, therefore I cut down on the length of the voiceover and tried to narrow down on the topics which would be discussed within the short space of the voiceover. Also, I believed the timing of the voiceover was not as effective as it could have been, as it was located towards the beginning of the short film. However, it is more conventional and, in my opinion, more appropriate for the voiceover to be heard after she is seen having a panic attack outside her school. Furthermore, another reason I decided to amend the script was due to the other part of the short film where dialogue is exchanged inside the hall, where the protagonist will eventually play the violin. I believed the dialogue was too lengthy in this scene too and would not realistically be said if it was an actual rehearsal for a violin recital. Therefore, I decided to change the narrative for the protagonist to be late to the rehearsal, where she walks in late and begins whispering to her friend, Nicole, after she immediately sits down and picks up her violin.
*BLACK SCREEN*
*PRODUCTION COMPANY LOGO FADES ON AND OFF SCREEN*
*FILM TITLE FADES ONTO SCREEN AND IS CUT FROM*
*SOPHIE IS SEEN BRUSHING HER HAIR IN THE MIRROR*
*SHE WALKS TOWARDS HER BAG ON THE FLOOR, PICKS IT UP, PLACES IT ON THE BED AND REPLACES SCHOOL BOOKS FOR HER MAKE UP, OYSTER CARD AND A DRINK*
*SHE PLACES HEADPHONES IN HER EARS AND WALKS OUT THE HOUSE, WHERE THE NON-DIEGETIC OF HER MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY*
*SOPHIE WALKS THROUGH AN ALLEYWAY AND SUBWAY, WHERE SHE FINALLY GETS TO THE OUTSIDE OF HER SCHOOL*
*SOPHIE WALKS TOWARDS ENTRANCE OF SCHOOL, THEN BEGINS REMEMBERING THE BULLIES AT HER SCHOOL AND EVENTUALLY HAS A PANIC ATTACK*
*FADES INTO BLACK SCREEN*
Sophie (voiceover): I’ve never really felt like I could truly express myself, surrounded by people who only ever seem to care about the appearance of others. They think I’m the girl sat at the back of the classroom with no friends. They don’t allow themselves to understand me, who I am. The procedure of entering those school gates, day after day, has drained all the motivation I had within me. I feel as if no one has ever tried to get to know who I truly am or even start a conversation with me. Trapped, isolated, lost – all of the things I’ve only ever known to feel when I go to school. The loneliness has taken over me, my life, my everything. They only ever seem to see the black eye shadow, the nose piercing or the necklaces I wear. This materialistic world has destroyed what is truly important in a person. I’m constantly judged for the choices I make with my own life, with things as little as the clothing I decide to wear to school. The false perceptions relentlessly thrown at me, they think I’m just the emo of the school who listens to rock music. What they don’t seem to realise is – all that ever matters about a person is skin deep.
*SOPHIE CONTINUES WALKING UNTIL A HALL IS VISIBLE IN THE SHOT, WHERE SHE EVENTUALLY WALKS IN AND A POSTER FOR A VIOLIN RECITAL BECOMES VISIBLE*
*SOPHIE ENTERS THE HALL AND WALKS TOWARDS THE OTHERS IN THE HALL, WHERE SHE IS GREETED*
Nicole: Hey Sophie! How are you?
Sophie: Hey! I’m good, a little nervous though. I don’t think he’s too happy with me.
Nicole: Don’t worry! It’ll be fine, just pay attention.
*FADES INTO BLACK SCREEN*
*SHOTS ARE SHOWN OF NICOLE, SOPHIE AND VARIOUS OTHERS PLAYING INSTRUMENTS IN THEIR REHEARSAL, UNTIL THE SCREEN EVENTUALLY CUTS TO A BLACK SCREEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN EXTREME CLOSE UP IS USED SHOWING SOPHIE’S HANDS*
The script presented above is the script which I had made amendments on from the feedback which I had received from the initial script. However, I still felt that there were amendments to be made. I felt that the voiceover did not reflect the theme of the film as much and communicate the idea of Sophie being fed up of being bullied and mocked for her appearance. I also felt that the voiceover was unrealistic. I had also found that the short would be too long if this script was followed, therefore I had cut out the conversation between Sophie and Nicole. This is because it was not impactful on the narrative at all. Instead, she would go straight to her seat, sit down and begin playing the violin. The final script can be seen on the 'Script' page, which is the task before this one.